From: Yance Davis 

Harpua Files:   7/16/94

A few years back, pieces of a comet broke off and crashed into Jupiter,
making enormous temporary craters and spawning a series of made-for-TV
movies about what would happen if the same thing were to happen to Earth
instead of Jupiter.  Well, in typical Phish fashion, current events got
turned into clever stage fun for our entertainment (see 6/17 OJ show),
this time within the story of Harpua.  This show ended the '94 summer
tour with a bang, and took place at Sugarbush, in Phish's home state.
Before getting into the Harpua, I do have to say a few words about the
Antelope opener which came right before it, as it does have some classic
banter between Trey and Fish.

In the middle of a heated jam, things cool off for a bit for Trey to
murmur out "Catapault" before going back into Antelope.  If I remember
correctly, this show took place right before Trey's wedding, so when he
gets to the line "So there ain't gonna be no wedding," he can't help but
laugh a little bit.  Now this is only mildly amusing, but Fish can't
resist and has to mouth out "No Wedding?!?  You Wish!"  The sound that
comes from Trey's guitar at this point is PURE evil.  Never have I heard
so much emotion from one note.  Fish of course catches on right away and
yells out "No You Don't wish!!  I'm sorry, I take that back!"  It's
great.  Fine energetic jamming there too, if that happens to be what
you're into ;) 

"Oom Pa Pa" comes unexpectedly after the last, drawn out note of
fades off...

  "Ok, I'm gonna tell you a little story here now and ...

        (huge applaud from audience)
  "Yes..  Yes..  This is a very very important, very special story so I
hope everyone, including all the people, way back there on the lawn, are
listening.  This story has only happened Once in the history of the
civilization of this planet.  REally incredible.  Now, this whole story
starts, as... most of you probably know that we all live in Vermont here
and that we live not so far from here... which by the way, I must say is
the greatest state in the union.. For those of you who've travelled to
this state and Don't live in Vermont, you're Totally missing out and I
really feel sorry for you.  I Mean that.  What can I say.. We just
started this tour on April 5th.  We've been three and a half on the road
and there is NO place like Vermont.  Period.  No place.

  "So anyway so here we are in Vermont, and we live in a little place up
there.. sort of the Jericho/Westwood/Underhill area is where we were
of the time.  We ski a lot at Sugarbush, when there's snow on the
We don't ski in the summer.  Anyway, in Jericho, or Underhill, there's
this guy who used to hang around the town, he's been around 11 years,
you'd always see him walking around town, he's a strange old guy.. He
sort of an outcast in the town and people used to chastize him and give
him a hard time and what happened was, over the years, he really got
of being chastized and being given a hard time, so he ended up moving up
into the mountains, and he just happens to live, right up over the hill
over there, you can't see it anymore cuz it's dark, but if you look when
it was light, there's a mountain that rises up right over there and
that's where he lives.  And he brought his dog with him and uh, his dog
some of you know is the famous Harpua. 

  "Anyway, this guy, he was kind of an older guy and he lives up in the
mountains with his dog because he couldn't hang around the town anymore
because everybody was always giving him a hard time so he moved up to
mountains but what happened was, once he moved up to the mountains
the fact that he loved living up there with nature and his little cabin,
he was very angry at the people in the town who used to give him a hard
time.  So as he lived up there, he transfered his anger to his dog
and over time, the dog Harpua became a very evil dog and it was one of
those dogs that, if you walk by or you're running, the dog was barking
you, he's pissed - the dog is gonna get you.  So the way the story goes
is, you know, this particular day, which happens to be today, I look up
there and I notice that the dog and the man were up there and the dog 
decides that he's going to go into town to cause trouble.  So he starts
walking down into town and he's going to start looking for revenge for
people that chastized his owner.

  "Now, he's walking down the hill, and halfway down the hill, he pauses
and now I'm gonna switch to the other half of the story. . .

  "There's a kid that lives in our town where we grew up named 'Jimmy.'
Now, Jimmy also had a pet, but Jimmy is kinda from the other side of the
fence.  Jimmy is the, sort-of suburban high school kid and he's there
he's all happy.  Everything is hunky-dory because everybody loves him.
And he's got this cat and.. (pauses) .. POSTER NUTBAG, y'kno heh heh..


  "What I'm trying to say is, the cat's name is Poster Nutbag.  I'm
skip the whole thing going on to the Poster Nutbag bit but here he is,
Poster Nutbag.  Now Poster Nutbag.. Poster Nutbag is not like Harpua.
Poster Nutbag was raised by a happy, you know um, no problems, so he's
really together.  Anyway Poster Nutbag decides one day "You know, I'm
gonna walk up into the mountains and have a beautiful day there" so
Nutbag starts walking across the highway there and ends up in the
mountains and ends up right here, where we are and before you all came
here I saw him during soundcheck wandering up the place where you're all
standing, up this little hill.  And he's wandering up there and he
to turn towards.. and I was wondering to myself, I'm thinking "This cat
now wandering up into the area where the evil dog Harpua lives.  That is
not good!"  So up he goes and they're wandering along and suddenly,
Nutbag comes along a tree and he looks ahead and he sees the ugliest,
meanest dog that he's ever seen in his life, and he's really scared
because it's suburbia where he lives and he doesn't see ugly dogs like

  "Now Harpua, as I've told you before, is a trained killer.  So Harpua
looks at Poster Nutbag and he says "HOT LUNCH ..I'm gonna get this cat!"
Now looking at each other and you know, Poster Nutbag's fur is starting
stand on end and they're looking at each other, there's gonna be this
awful fight, but suddenly, this wave of energy comes over them from some
place other than there.  They don't know WHAT is going on and they look
in the sky .. and they see this Giant comet crashing into Jupiter.. AND
IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!  Right now there's a comet crashing into
Jupiter.  And Poster Nutbag and Harpua are at the top of the hill
this..  And they don't know what's going on.. 

  (Music builds up until all at once Fishman begins the beat of Also
Sprach Zarathustra..)

  "If you look up there right now you can probably see it.  It's a clear
night..."  (It's been a while, but if I remember correctly the comet
hitting Jupiter was hardly visible from Earth with the naked eye)

  ASZ continues through the first part, close to four minutes long and
ends with Trey's typical Harpua end-of-story riff.  More fun begins in
dialogue between Jimmy and his Dad when Mike substitutes:

  "Jimmy, your cat got hit by a comet" 

for "It's about your cat, Poster."  After that:

  all: "Poster is dead"
  Fish: "hit-by-a-comet!"
  all: "Poster is dead"
  Trey: "Hit  by a comet"
  Fish: "hit by a comet!"
  all: "Poster's SO dead"

  Yes, more Harpua fun from 1994.  There were many versions this year
(compared to only One in '97 :(  ) and all of them great fun (see also
6/30 and 6/17 for two other classics in that same tour).  Peace..