TREY: Well, a long time ago, there was this guy and he was coming home from a long long trip.
He had been gone for weeks and months traveling around, and he was about to go home for the first time in a long time, pretty psyched to get home. He was this old ragged guy, the road had done a lot to him. It turned him into a mean ugly person, but he was trying to keep sane.
So here he was coming home one day… He had traveled a long way and was coming back to this place that he lived. He lived up in this little valley overlooking this beautiful town. So he came home and he walked home and he hadn't been home for so long. One of the things he was very excited about when he came home was that he hadn't seen his favorite dog in months and months.
So here he comes now walking along, walking over the fields, and he sees his house up in the distance. He's finally gonna get home, and he walks up and out to meet him comes his beautiful dog that he's missed so much the whole time he's been gone. The dog comes walking up towards him, and as it gets closer he sees that the dog has grown ugly as he’s gone. He's got deep wrinkled flesh hanging off his face, with drool coming off of it, huge fangs, ugly black eyes, and his body is so fat that it’s dragging along the ground as he walks. He can barely walk. [“Dog Log” tease] He says wait a minute, you used to be such a nice little dog when i left and now you've become this ugly mean thing. He said this is my dog... my dog, Harpua
Well, Harpua's favorite pastime while the man was away had become walking around and finding himself hot morsels of flesh to chew on, and that's how he got so fat and ugly. So that day when Harpua saw his master, and his master saw the dog, Harpua decided that he would leave his master and walk into town. So he started to wander towards town, and he walked down. He went from the outskirts of town through the bad section of town and into the middle of the city, and he kinda scraped his body along the ground. Well, finally he found himself in the rich part of town with all these beautiful big houses that's the place where he usually went.
So he's walking along these houses and he comes to this particular yard and he's standing and he's looking at the house...
Meanwhile… [Jimmy’s theme] meanwhile inside the house a little boy is sitting in front of the TV, and his name is Jimmy. Jimmy's sitting in front of the TV, and he's sitting next to his little cat, petting a cat while he watches TV in the afternoon. He's on his nice rug with his nice couch, and he's having a beautiful day [Mike makes meow sounds with bass] [band then begins making lots of odd sounds including moaning and meows]
You’re such a nice kitty [meow], such a nice kitty [meow], He looks down at his cat while he's petting it [meow] and he says [meow] I love you so much [meow]. My little kitty cat [meow] and that's why [meow] I gave you [meow] such [meow] a beautiful name [meow]. I love you so much [meow], you're my beautiful [meow], my beautiful [meow], my beautiful cat [meow], my beautiful kitty [meow]. Oh I love you so much [meow]... Ohhh kitty [meow], that's why I named you, ohhh kitty, ohhh Poster Nutbag!
Poster Nutbag also decides he wants to go out for a little walk so he can get something, leaves Jimmy in the room, and walks out the door and starts walking out towards the yard. Meanwhile, Harpua, the mean ugly dog is standing behind the tree at the edge of the yard. Harpua standing there, Poster Nutbag innocently begins walking towards Harpua. They come face to face. It's gonna be a mean ugly fight… Harpua lets out a low angry growl. Poster Nutbag coils his body into a deadly arch. The fight is about to begin!
Look, the storm’s gone...
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