TREY: Auntie Em! Auntie Em! It’s a twister! It’s a twister! [Band creates swirling soundscape] Oh my, God. Where are we? We aren’t in Kansas anymore. I think, I think, I think this is… Gamehendge. It’s Gamehendge. What’s that over there? It’s Colonel Forbin. There he goes. Colonel Forbin, He’s walking in the woods. Let’s follow him…there he goes. He’s going through those trees. He’s standing next to that weird strange person over there. It looks like they’re talking about something. I think they’re talking about some kind of revolution.
They’re trying to overthrow the evil King Wilson. But wait! It’s not working! The revolution is failing miserably. Their failure…maybe we can help them. For it looks like Colonel Forbin, he’s going to try something as a last resort… He’s gonna, he’s gonna go climb that huge mountain over there. There he goes. He’s climbing up the side of the mountain, I can see him, dangling precariously from that huge cliff up there.
He’s climbing higher and higher! He’s going up! He’s in love with the mountain. He’s on top of the mountain. The mountain is starting to quake!! Oh my God! The rocks are falling on him! They’re falling on his head but he’s hanging on! Little bits are falling off! The mountain is shaking! The mountain is, the mountain is, the mountain is turning into…The mountain is ICCULUS! The mountain has changed into the great and knowledgeable Icculus. Col Forbin is asking him to do something.
TREY: Icculus is looking down at Colonel Forbin. And now, Icculus is looking up at the sky. It’s Icculus…it’s the One. The Great One. The man, the man who started it all. Ladies and gentlemen, on top of that mountain, that’s no normal mountain because without that mountain we wouldn’t be here tonight, and none of you would be here tonight. Because, because, that man is now taking on the presence of the man who wrote the book and changed our lives.
We think that if you read this book, it could change your life, too. Because that man is, the special, the great, the wonderful. That great man who wrote that book, ladies and gentlemen, that man inspired a great ale. He inspired a great beer, he’s that great. Because he is the man, he’s the great, the stupendous, the incredible, ladies and gentlemen that man, he’s no ordinary man, he’s the one, he’s the great, he’s the knowledgeable, he’s the great, the knowledgeable, great, knowledgeable, great, knowledgeable, incredible, the author of the Helping Friendly Book!
That man changed our lives! He could change your life! Read the Book! Find the Book! Read the Book! You gotta read the book! You’ve gotta read it! You gotta read it! You want your life to change? You just gonna stand there? Stand there with your miserable life? [unintelligible]
Read the goddam book! Read the book! Find the book! Read the book goddam it! [unintelligible] Read the book! Read the book! Read it! [Unintelligible] Read it!!!
[Following final verse of “Icculus,” “Mockingbird” returns]
TREY: So, there he is, the great and knowledgeable Icculus. He wrote the Helping Friendly Book, and he’s looking down at Colonel Forbin and he’s telling Colonel Forbin, “I’m going to help you, Colonel Forbin. I’m gonna call on my friend, the Famous Mockingbird, and he’s gonna fly out to the castle of the Evil King Wilson, steal the Helping Friendly Book back, and bring it all to you people out here so you can read the Helping Friendly Book and change your lives for the better.” So here he comes, the famous Mockingbird...
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